The issue with breastfeeding

　

Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things a mother will attempt. Most women will put bubs to breast after birthing, and won't encounter any problems until after they get home. At three months only half of those women will be exclusively breastfeeding, and by the time baby is 6 months old the percentage decreases to 30%.

As mothers, we are bombarded with these statsistic and the WHO recomendations of breastfeeding till the age of two. We know breast is best, we feel terrible when our baby cannot attach and is screaming in hunger, and we feel shame when we buy that first barrel of formula.

Now why are we failing to breastfeed?

It's not because we don't have support after birthing because we do. Lactation consultants, nurses, midwives, mothers groups, our own mothers and sisters, our doctors and not to mention resource centre like the ABA. We also have countless books, dvds and internet websites at our disposal.
So if it's not support after birth than what is it?

It's exposure! In our country breastfeeding mothers are hidden in toilets, covered in corners of shopping centres or sitting in lonely rooms away from family and friends. How many times have you ventured out into the local shops, seen hundreds of babies and toddlers and how many breasts do we see? On a good day...ONE!

Breast feeding mothers are ostrasized. In a country where we accept so many cultures and ways of life a boob shocks and disgust people. And don't try to say that when you encounter a breast feeding woman you don't react. You avoid eye contact, let alone catch a glimspe of the baby, conversations become strained or in some cases cease all together or you simply choose to ignore her until she's finished. I've seen people stare at a breast feeding mothers like they are an oddity, sneer and make derogitory comments such as "She shouldn't be doing THAT in public."



"When I gave birth to my first child I was quite happy to whip out a boob to feed my baby. After all how else was I to feed her? But instead of feeling like a normal person I started feeling shameful. And it started with my partner. He didn't want anyone to see my breast. He became nervous and fidgity, occasionally telling me to cover up when I was in the precence of his family. No one else commented on it (mainly because I have been known to lose my temper ) but I began to see the uncomfortableness of his brothers and the lack of conversation with his sister and friends. And so I ended up breast feeding with a cover which was uncomfortable and annoying, and eventually started slinking off into the spare bedroom when baby needed to be fed."


The main reason people feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding (and this includes mothers who actually breastfeed) is because they are not exposed to it. Exposure leads to acceptance. It also leads to knowledge and experience. If exposed early on in life to breast feeding it is easier to navigate through positions, mastitis and attachment. It is easier to understand why baby wants to feed more, or less and it inevitably leads to breastfeeding your baby longer than you would have if you were not exposed.
Women who find out they are pregnant know about breast feeding, are encouraged to breastfeed and are told the benefits of breastfeeding. Yet they are still limited to their exposure to it. While some women are lucky to already have joined a mothers group or have friends who have babies, 9 times out of 10 you won't see a boob. Mothers will cover up or disappear into a room giving no chance to see how it is really done.

And if you can't see it in practise how are you supposed to do it after a 20hour labor? The shock of actually having a baby is enough to freak a new mum out, and now your expected to breastfeed because it's right for baby, because it's expected of you? No one taught you how to do it. Yes we have the midwife and the lactation consultant show us the right way, but they aren't breastfeeding at that very moment. Showing someone how to do something and actually doing it are two completely different things.



"After the birth of my daughter, she was placed immediately to my breast and began to suckle. Wrongly. She nursed for two hours but didn't actually get any colostrum because she was attached wrong. The midwife told me she was just a hungry little girl and left me to it. I had large breast so it looked like she was attached properly but when I pulled her off I was shocked to find my nipple black! The lactation consultant was called, introduced herself, promptly grabbed my breast and my babys head, and smashed them together. That was great ....except I didn't see anything because her hands were in the way. She then explained how it should look, how it should feel and told me she was attached the right way. Except she wasn't and when she came off again I introduced black nipple one to black nipple two. It took days for me to find the football hold but even then when my baby was attached correctly (for me and for her) it looked wrong and my consultant told me so."


Exposure is the best way to teach. So next time you're eating lunch and your baby starts howling for a feed, whip out the boob and feed her. Ignore the looks and snide remarks, and know you are part of a revolution. Who knows? You may inspire another woman to take up the cause.

:)
Ciao,

La Mama.

A little bit about me...

So while I'll remain anonymous I will be able to tell you a bit about myself and what I hope to come out of this blog.  I'm a mother of three under four and am expecting another lil bundle of joy in Febuary. Yes my life is hectic and crazy but thats my life and I wouldn't change it for anything. I choose to parent as naturally as I can and am extremely blessed to have a husband who encourages this also.

I'm surrounded by people with children and people who work within the industry of childbirth and childcare. I am lucky enough to be in the presence of these people constantly and am able to learn from them in many different ways.

I have found with other websites, blogs and pages that they lean one way or another. Many issues regarding pregnancy, birth and parenting are often one sided and new parents find it difficult to find where they fit. Often so many of these couples (lets face it, fathers are involved just as much as mothers) feel shamed or pushed into a idea they do not agree with or are entirely comfortable with. This leads to problems in the long run. So my blog is to give balanced information for informed choice.

I do not judge mothers and fathers for their choices. They have a right to them. Every situation is different, every person unique and no one has the right to put them down or attack them. In saying this every choice has pros and cons and that is what I hope to show in this blog.

Along with the balanced information, I hope to share a little of my life as a mother and as a pregnant woman. The realities of motherhood and pregnancy are not everything they right in books so I'm hoping to share a little insight into the crazyness that is my life.

On that note I'll leave you all,

Ciao,

La Mama